Thursday
Aug132009
How to Handle Rejection
Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 10:12PM
So, it occurs to me that I get rejected a lot. If you're a writer (or I guess this applies to like, high school seniors with really bad extra curriculars and SAT scores), you know the feeling; you have to go through a ton of rejection if you ever want to get published. For anyone trying to get published, it will go a lot easier if you just accept that as fact from the beginning.
Accepting that rejection is part of writing, yes, but it doesn't mean that every rejection won't hurt a little. Or a lot. At least a little twinge. So here is my tried and true recipe to dealing with it.
1. Schedule some wallowing time. It used to be that I could drop everything and wallow, but frankly, I don't have the time anymore. NOT being published means I'm not yet paid for my writing, so at the moment I'm working a LOT. And if it happens on deadline week, like this one did, well, it just has to get rescheduled.
2. Cry your beady eyes out. Seriously. Who's it going to hurt? It's good for the skin, and some times it just feels so good. No tissues, just make that ridiculous face and sob until your whole face feels wet and you've got a trail of tears in your hair. Then do a little sniffle, blow your nose, and wipe away another dramatic tear or two. Repeat if necessary.
3. Gather Crap. Every smutty or cheesy romance novel that you secretly love but everyone says doesn't count as real fiction, every saucy, shameless movie that, like Lifetime Originals, goes for the obvious, exposed emotional jugular. Subtlety need not apply. Sometimes a little melodrama reminds you just what kind of fun it is to be a writer. And crappy, smutty, shameless cheese is good for the soul. Personal weapons of choice? True Blood currently, but old standbys include anything about Robin Hood and the entire feel-good fabulousness of the Meg Cabot collection. And if it's really crappy (like none of the examples I gave) the best part about it is it makes YOU feel like a better writer by comparison.
4. Indulge with your weapon of choice. Jewelry? Do it. Cheesecake? Go crazy. New Michael Kors bag? What? A little indulgence feels a whole lot less guilty after a rejection, and it also can do wonders to heal a little (or massive) wound. You can even bake a little. The smell of chocolate baking is an endorphin. Medically proven, I swear.
5. "Learn" a little. Yeah, it's the pesky, not fun part of rejection, but chances are every rejection that really hurts is hurting because you had something invested in it, which means there's probably something you can learn from it. With writing, if you've been working with an agent or editor and it doesn't work out, they're probably giving you some solid parting advice that, once in a non-sobby state, you should thank your lucky stars for. It's the key to one day NOT getting rejected.
6. Bootstrap time. Sorry, but with every rejection comes the moment where you just have get over it and submit again. IMMEDIATELY after Step 5! Get right back on that horse without a second's hesitation. Remember, fortune favors the bold, and the persistent!
Have a hug and a chocolate chip cookie on me. Good luck. ;-)
Accepting that rejection is part of writing, yes, but it doesn't mean that every rejection won't hurt a little. Or a lot. At least a little twinge. So here is my tried and true recipe to dealing with it.
1. Schedule some wallowing time. It used to be that I could drop everything and wallow, but frankly, I don't have the time anymore. NOT being published means I'm not yet paid for my writing, so at the moment I'm working a LOT. And if it happens on deadline week, like this one did, well, it just has to get rescheduled.
2. Cry your beady eyes out. Seriously. Who's it going to hurt? It's good for the skin, and some times it just feels so good. No tissues, just make that ridiculous face and sob until your whole face feels wet and you've got a trail of tears in your hair. Then do a little sniffle, blow your nose, and wipe away another dramatic tear or two. Repeat if necessary.
3. Gather Crap. Every smutty or cheesy romance novel that you secretly love but everyone says doesn't count as real fiction, every saucy, shameless movie that, like Lifetime Originals, goes for the obvious, exposed emotional jugular. Subtlety need not apply. Sometimes a little melodrama reminds you just what kind of fun it is to be a writer. And crappy, smutty, shameless cheese is good for the soul. Personal weapons of choice? True Blood currently, but old standbys include anything about Robin Hood and the entire feel-good fabulousness of the Meg Cabot collection. And if it's really crappy (like none of the examples I gave) the best part about it is it makes YOU feel like a better writer by comparison.
4. Indulge with your weapon of choice. Jewelry? Do it. Cheesecake? Go crazy. New Michael Kors bag? What? A little indulgence feels a whole lot less guilty after a rejection, and it also can do wonders to heal a little (or massive) wound. You can even bake a little. The smell of chocolate baking is an endorphin. Medically proven, I swear.
5. "Learn" a little. Yeah, it's the pesky, not fun part of rejection, but chances are every rejection that really hurts is hurting because you had something invested in it, which means there's probably something you can learn from it. With writing, if you've been working with an agent or editor and it doesn't work out, they're probably giving you some solid parting advice that, once in a non-sobby state, you should thank your lucky stars for. It's the key to one day NOT getting rejected.
6. Bootstrap time. Sorry, but with every rejection comes the moment where you just have get over it and submit again. IMMEDIATELY after Step 5! Get right back on that horse without a second's hesitation. Remember, fortune favors the bold, and the persistent!
Have a hug and a chocolate chip cookie on me. Good luck. ;-)
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