Old Prayers and New Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot lately about a prayer I know is pretty common--it's also the prayer for AA, I believe--but I first heard it as a kid in a Catholic school.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Things I can't change (or hurry, or effect):

• Whether, or when, I get published


• Whether, or when, I get a job


• Whatever my path is going to be

Things I can change (or more specifically, control):

• My eating, exercising, and lifestyle


• My writing


• ....and that's about it.

I've been having trouble lately, with the whole weight loss/lapband thing, and it feels incredibly important that I get over this issue.  I've had success, I'm bumping up against failure again, and I've got to find a way to succeed on my own.  It also feels like, when I'm not successful with the weight loss, everything starts grinding in my life, like the universe is making the way harder than it has to be.  When I'm successful with it, everything starts flowing like I'm going with the universe instead of against it. Good things come my way like those snaps you get at fourth of july parades.

I just need to find a way to get my head on straight.  Because I think--and have always thought--that this is the sincere problem with my life.  Once I figure this out, the rest will come.  I hope.  God I hope.

Fingers crossed.

xx